LOVE IS POISON

Strange things are happening today. And I'm not talking about my submission for the pornathon this week, though, well, that's strange too. My muse derailed me into writing something totally different from what I had planned, which meant it came out all rambly and incoherent, and also 800 words so I had to cut 80 and I hate having to do cuts so I just kinda deleted paragraphs at random. Also when I realized I was at 700 words I hastily hurried to conclude but I'd barely written any porn, so. Basically, I wrote pornless porn. IDK IDK.

Also I found myself in my wips too derpworthy to live folder and found a complete fic. For Ace Attorney. I'm not even in the fandom any more. I think I wrote it for the kink meme over a year ago and then didn't post it because it went in a different way from the prompt. Or because I was ashamed of the porn. WHICH IDK SELF IT'S A KINK MEME. Whatever, I no longer have shame and I need the wordcount for fiumidiparole so I'm doing some quick editing and posting.

But the point of this post is another. I might or might not have accidentally signed up for an X-Men Big Bang. (Hint: I did.)
Nobody commented on my ~totally awesome idea for an AU but I'm writing it anyway, haha. Ha. OH GOD WHAT AM I DOING. YOU SHOULD ALL JOIN AND SUPPORT ME BECAUSE I FEEL MY SANITY SLOWLY SLIPPING AWAY ALREADY AND I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE IN THIS.
xmenbigbang. There should probably be a pretty banner but I can't find it and I'm sleepy and lol whatever, I can pimp properly later.

What else did I forget about? There's the Tourney of the Hand over at westerosorting and I still haven't recovered from Hogsmeade, I'm all excited about Pottermore even though we know next to nothing about it yet, and I fell in love with One Cell In The Sea. It's probably the only album I've ever listened to in order, without skipping tracks, multiple times. Hearts in my eyes. ♥

Back to editing shameful porn now.

So uhm, I accidentally wrote some porn. IDEK how it happened, the first (normal, for my standards) part was inspired by the maritombola prompt, the second (angsty) part by an email exchange with Pat, the third (porny) part possibly by a certain Italian community that shall go unnamed.
Everybody goes, leaving those who fall behind
Inception * Arthur/Eames * NC-17 * ~4,000 words
Still one month before the DVD comes out, Y U DO THIS TO ME ITALY?
This makes it my second longest fic ever. Say what you want, porn is an effective way of boosting word count. And look at how pretty my card has become.

Also I have a couple more tombola ficlets and my gifts for the layton_exchange, but they can't hold a candle to my literary endeavour above.
Encyclopedia of reality shows * Sherlock * John, Sherlock * PG * ~550 words
The clockwork inefficiency * The Big Bang Theory * Penny, Sheldon * PG * ~600 words
Turnabout Puzzle * Phoenix Wright & Professor Layton * PG * ~1,000 words
A Gentleman and a Lady * Professor Layton * Layton, Claire * PG * ~600 words

SPEAKING OF PAT! DON'T FORGET THAT TODAY IS THE...
♥ Despicable Me Live Watch Spam ♥

No, I really don't have anything else to say that isn't Ren-centric. :(

I wish I had a DW icon. Castiel is still the most relevant thing that I have. And I refuse to use the drunk!Dean icon because whatever anyone says this is srs bsns.

I don't exactly know why, but after dinner I was attempting an experiment to measure just how big the human field of vision is. Or rather, my own field of vision. I might not be an ideal test subject, my vision is less than perfect and I wasn't working under optimal circumstances.

Anyway, my sister (who always gets roped into this kind of things because she's too nice to say no and my brother always says no) suggested a practical (kind of) use for this: we can now determine the minimum number of humans (or humanoids) required to fend off an attack of the Weeping Angels. Of course, you could just get with your back into a corner and wait to be rescued, but that's not effective at all. Four people can cover all of the surroundings and move around, getting themselves to a place of safety. This excludes the possibility of flying Angels ninjaing you from above, so actually you'd need to be in a team made by eight people to be certain of survival. Provided that none of them blinks.

So, eight people, my sister reckons the Doctor would never manage that unless he went on a massive recruitment spree. Then I suggested he teams up with Torchwood, it's just five people but they have a Pterodactyl! (We're very big on Terry, me and my sister. We have an ongoing graph of character popularity and she's always in the #1 spot. It's a thing of beauty, that graph.) So with the Doctor, one companion, five people from Torchwood and a Pterodactyl, they can take on the Angels no problem.

Except that my sister pointed out that Pterodactyls maybe can't see right in front of them, so here goes my foolproof plan. We needed an alternative. What wouldn't work is setting up a CCTV system, because if you watch the angels through a screen you're not actually watching the Angels, you're watching a series of frozen images, and in the interval between the frames the Angel would so get you and send you to some awful place before the invention of the Internet.

Then an alternative plan was suggested. It involves setting up mirrors in strategical positions. The only unknown factor here is whether watching angels reflected in a mirror would still work, but I think the answer to that is positive. I even wrote some equations to prove my point, confirming that the Angels do indeed move at a speed that's strictly less than the speed of light, but I won't add them here because I'm about to watch the episode with Georgia Moffett, and also I'm not sure I got the units of measure right. That's why I hate physics.

Well, whatever, now we're fully equipped to face an Angel attack. This post was brought to you by spare time, that episode of The Big Bang Theory where Sheldon tells Leonard "You know what's the problem with Time Travel?" and the fact that my sister refused to continue our conversation. But I'll need to remember the details of this for when I update TvTropes debunking the theory that the viewer counts in deciding whether the Angels are being watched or not.

Officially, I have the sense of humour of a 5-year-old.

No wait, I'm probably worse, 5-year-olds don't have this tendency to snicker helplessly at bad sex jokes.

...I have the sense of humour of a tasteless pre-teen?



Apart from this, watching Torchwood makes me sad. Damn you spoilers. Damn you writers.